Parenthood: Birthday Letter to Our Son

I got to this party late, but it wasn’t for my lack of effort of searching. Today, you turn 9. I used to dream of a kid, with long blonde hair, surrounded by books, with a gentle and loving spirit. When I saw your face and heard your laugh, it was one more of many confirmations I was home, with you and your mom. We are all home. 

Some days are hard. Misunderstood. Loud. Most days are filled with wonder and loving conversation, hugs and naming bugs. Everyday is filled with peanut butter and honey on unimaginable surfaces and objects, clothing, the dogs, your beautiful face and hair. Everyday is full of love, growth, routine and spontaneity. Like that time we went to a different Target, one town over! 

My mornings went from waking up with the rhythm of the sunrise, to the rhythm of Tosca’s alarm clock, because school starts much earlier than work. Sitting in a school drop off line before the line for morning coffee is something I always secretly hoped for, but wasn’t sure I’d ever get the honor to do. I’m grateful for these things, these activities most are frustrated with by 3rd grade. I’m grateful to be here, with you, experiencing this time of your young life. I missed out on the first 8 formative years, but intend on making up for it with presence, persistence, structure, love, guidance, life lessons, consistency, humor, growth and adventure. 

Somehow, you look like me. You organize your shirts by color in your closet like me. You have blue eyes and fair skin like me. One day, you’ll share the same last name with me. 

September 21, or 9/21, holds a strange history for me. It’s been a turning point day in the past. 3 years ago, a death threat from a stranger at my similarly numbered street address of 921 propelled me into examining and making deep and rapid changes to my life. Last year on this day, I filed for my LLC, to turn that energy around into a happy memory. To continue that momentum, today, and every September 21 forward, we celebrate your birthday. Thank you for coming into this world, for being you. Happy birthday, my love.